Friday, May 8, 2015
This Mother's Day..
Will be different. For that I'm will be forever grateful. Last year was the lowest of the lows. See no one knew our story. They didn't know our struggles, they didn't know the pain. They didn't know all ups and downs we'd already faced and the ones that lay ahead. They didn't know the painful testing, the self administered shots, and the piles of negative pregnancy tests that were already behind me. They always asked when children would be in our future. I'd always smile and say maybe some day and shrug it off as if it wasn't on my mind. They didn't know these comments hurt to the core. They didn't know I would leave each event in tears and cry all the way home. They never knew the amount of tears shed, the hopeless days, or the constant disappointments. It made me question my faith. It made me question my life at times because I always thought I'd be a mother. A pain greater than I had ever faced. You can't relate to this kind of pain unless you've experienced it. I don't wish this pain on anyone. Today I'm proud to say it's made me stronger. A stronger person, a stronger Christian, and stronger willed. It's made me so incredibly grateful for these two miracles growing inside me. This Mother's Day I will rub my growing belly a little more, I will thank god a few more times, and I will celebrate with a grateful heart that God chose my to be these little ones Mommy. For the ones struggling with the same kind of pain- my heart goes out to this Mother's Day. I can only hope you will one day experience the same feeling I get to this Mother's Day.